Celebrating Your Friends Doesn't Dim Your Light
How do you feel when one of your friends crushes a goal, or has a huge success in his or her life?
- Genuinely happy and excited for them
- Maybe a TINGE of jealousy, but overall happy for them
- Outwardly excited for them, but inside feeling insecure
- F my friends accomplishments!
In my latest professional post: You Have It Together More Than You Think (a great post to check out if you haven’t already), I spoke about ways we can stay sane in our professional lives. At times, we experience a lot of self doubt because we are constantly comparing ourselves to each other. I mean, it can be hard not to, right? This is especially true when you and your friends are chasing similar goals, rather it be professional or personal.
Stop it now.
You will never find happiness with yourself while comparing yourself to the next person. You'll constantly be miserable. Oh, and in addition, comparing yourself to your friends HARMS the friendship! It’s hard to be a good friend to someone whose accomplishments you secretly resent. It will eventually manifest itself, and who wants to be a known hater? Not I, said Angela. Don't need no hateration in THIS dancery!
Honestly, I think most people experience a little jealousy every once in a while. What’s important is to keep it in check, and not let it control you. The more you love yourself, the less you will need to compare. Jealousy is really about your insecurities.
Celebrating your friends’ accomplishments does not take away from yours!
I'll say it again for the people in the back:
Celebrating your friends’ accomplishments does not take away from yours!
Be happy for others, especially your girls! We’re so quick to celebrate a celebrity’s success, but often seem hesitant to congratulate the people who are closest to us. Be inspired. You win when your friends win! I take personal delight in bragging about my friends. These are my girls, my clique, my peoples.
To be honest, I give myself a lil credit for some of my friends'e successes LOL. I am personally invested.
- I encouraged her when she was crying over her grades.
- I gave her tips when financial aid was trying to play her
- I looked over her resume
- I pulled all nighters with her in college
- I nursed her to health in college when a night of partying took its toll on her body (never again though)
- I GAVE HER A PASS FOR MISSING MY BABY SHOWER BECAUSE SHE HAD TO STUDY FOR A FINAL.
I was with her through the struggle, and I'm going to make sure that she enjoys the fruits of OUR labor. But seriously, she deserves her moment. Wouldn't you want the same support when you crush your goals?
You don’t always have to be the one. It’s okay to share the light.
Also, think of your friends as your network. You never know what future collaborations, or opportunities you may have because you know them and support them.
One of my best friends graduated with her Masters in Marketing not too long ago, and has been 100% helpful in helping me to design and manage my website. She gave me the confidence to launch Who Said I Have To Stay Home. Imagine if I had been a hater when sis graduated? I'm not saying that you should be friends with people just to see what you can get from them. What I am saying, is that our friends' successes can add value to our lives. You should want to be friends with successful people.
Sometimes seeing others get ahead can be intimidating, especially when we're not exactly proud of where we're at. I get it. That can be tough. We also have to realize that it is right and fair for people to reap the benefits of their work. You can get results as well. Focus less on others, and more on yourself. The "woe is me" attitude rarely gets anyone far. We all have challenges to overcome. In a healthy relationship, we should be able to support and build each other up.
I am proud of each and every one of my friends: the nurse, the mental health counselor, the photographer, the engineer, the masseuse, and all of them in their respective careers. Everyone has something to bring to the table, and so do you. Celebrate yourself and celebrate others! Stay encouraged.
